The Holiday Season is already upon us. It seems Halloween was just a week or two ago, and now it is almost Thanksgiving! Traditonally, right after the day of feasting with family of friends, the holiday shopping season is kicked off with the biggest shopping day of the year.
How is it that we go from a day of Thanksgiving to a month or so of frenzied shopping, entertaining, and over all busyness? Is there a way we can put the Thanks back into the season, starting with the traditonal day of Thanksgiving?
Having a feeling of gratitude is one of the best stress reducers there is. It can lead to a sense of peace and happiness. It can take us away from a sense of lack to a sense of having.
What if you are feeling resentful about disappointments, and can't think of anything to be grateful about? Start with the small things. Say, the way the sunlight filters in on a warm autumn day. Or the sound of a bird chirping. Or the fragrance of trees you walk under during a short walk. Little by little, you will notice more things to feel grateful for, and peace and gratitude will fill more of your day.
When you have an upcoming family or other social event to go to, it can feel stressful to remember some of the disappointments these events have led to in the past. You may even feel you can predict who will misbehave at the upcoming event, and how uncomfortable it will feel. Instead, you can simply expect and accept that things will not be perfect. Focus on some of the fun things that will be going on, and on some of the people you will feel genuinely happy to see. Feel grateful that you will be sharing time with them.
If you are hosting the get together, or if you will be bringing some food to share, it is all too easy to get caught up in the stress of planning, and overworking yourself to make things just right. Instead, try simplifying the meal and the tasks, and focus on anticipating a joyful time of sharing each other's company.
Gratitude is closely related to mindfulness. Mindfulness is an approach of being fully present in each moment. It is a peaceful feeling to focus on one thing at a time, rather than multitasking. By streamlining the amount of planning and work, you are free to fully enjoy the moment. You may spend an allotted amount of time baking, and really enjoy that you are just baking. You can be mindful of the aromas, the textures, the colors of the food you are preparing. You can be grateful for these moments of peaceful concentration.
Practice gratitude and mindfulness gradually during Thanksgiving. Make a committment to make this practice a part of your daily life, even just a little bit, through the holiday season. You will probably have a happier time, and may even take this new practice into the New Year with you.
Peace,
Kate
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Out of the Ashes: Hope and Renewal (Turning Disaster into an Opportunity for Growth)
Just a few short weeks ago, in October, much of Southern California was up in flames. This disaster dominated the news, and understandably, people not living in this area had the idea it was all of Southern California.
There were quite a few areas not up in flames. I happen to live and work in one of those areas, which were not at high risk for fire. It was somewhat surrealistic, driving around in safe areas, hearing the car radio stories of widespread destruction. Even in the safe, unaffected areas, there was the smell of smoke, and the air quality felt like a high smog day. The air is what made the experience more real than surreal. It gave me reason to be grateful to not be in danger, and to feel bad for those who were.
My mind drifted to times in my life when I was close enough to other wildfires to see the flames in the distance. Then I found myself thinking of times in my life when something bad happened, only to eventually lead to something better.
One way to deal with stressful events is to develop a habit of looking at our misfortunes as openings toward new opportunities. A few years back, there was a fire in Altadena, which destroyed much of the Eaton Canyon Nature Center, one of my favorite hiking areas. When the canyon was reopened for hiking, myself and others expressed sadness at the destruction. One of the docents, who was leading the hike, said not to be sad about this, because there would be a large array of wildflowers blooming in the spring. He explained that the seeds to some plants cannot grow into anything, until a fire cracks them open. Well, anyway, this is my nonscientific rendition of how I remember the explanation.
How often do the seeds of our potential finally crack open and blossom, after what seems like a trial by fire? Sometimes we go through very trying times, with no sign of a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect, we may look back at these times, realizing that "oh, if that had not happened, I still would have been at.....(fill in the blanks here), and would not ever have ended up in .....(fill in these blanks too)."
Are you in a job or career which is more satisfying to you than one you started off in? Are you in a happy love relationship, which is a lot more satisfying than the one before ? Would you have found these situations, if your old job had not ended, or you old relationship not painfully ended?
In times of loss, it can feel very unkind for someone to say "when one door closes, another opens." At that time, what we really need and want is for people to express compassion and kindness toward us. But we can, in our own mind, remember other hurdles we have surmounted successfully. It is helpful to remember how we turned a loss into a gain. This can give us strength and hope, to turn a current loss into a gain.
I can give many examples from my own life, and the lives of clients I have worked with. Instead, I invite you, right now, to look back on your own life for examples. Write some of these down in a journal, and read it when you need sustenance.
Peace,
Kate
There were quite a few areas not up in flames. I happen to live and work in one of those areas, which were not at high risk for fire. It was somewhat surrealistic, driving around in safe areas, hearing the car radio stories of widespread destruction. Even in the safe, unaffected areas, there was the smell of smoke, and the air quality felt like a high smog day. The air is what made the experience more real than surreal. It gave me reason to be grateful to not be in danger, and to feel bad for those who were.
My mind drifted to times in my life when I was close enough to other wildfires to see the flames in the distance. Then I found myself thinking of times in my life when something bad happened, only to eventually lead to something better.
One way to deal with stressful events is to develop a habit of looking at our misfortunes as openings toward new opportunities. A few years back, there was a fire in Altadena, which destroyed much of the Eaton Canyon Nature Center, one of my favorite hiking areas. When the canyon was reopened for hiking, myself and others expressed sadness at the destruction. One of the docents, who was leading the hike, said not to be sad about this, because there would be a large array of wildflowers blooming in the spring. He explained that the seeds to some plants cannot grow into anything, until a fire cracks them open. Well, anyway, this is my nonscientific rendition of how I remember the explanation.
How often do the seeds of our potential finally crack open and blossom, after what seems like a trial by fire? Sometimes we go through very trying times, with no sign of a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect, we may look back at these times, realizing that "oh, if that had not happened, I still would have been at.....(fill in the blanks here), and would not ever have ended up in .....(fill in these blanks too)."
Are you in a job or career which is more satisfying to you than one you started off in? Are you in a happy love relationship, which is a lot more satisfying than the one before ? Would you have found these situations, if your old job had not ended, or you old relationship not painfully ended?
In times of loss, it can feel very unkind for someone to say "when one door closes, another opens." At that time, what we really need and want is for people to express compassion and kindness toward us. But we can, in our own mind, remember other hurdles we have surmounted successfully. It is helpful to remember how we turned a loss into a gain. This can give us strength and hope, to turn a current loss into a gain.
I can give many examples from my own life, and the lives of clients I have worked with. Instead, I invite you, right now, to look back on your own life for examples. Write some of these down in a journal, and read it when you need sustenance.
Peace,
Kate
Saturday, July 7, 2007
A Peaceful, Lucky, and Shady Summer Day on 7-7-07
Are you getting tired of trying to stay cool this summer, in air conditioned buildings or crowded beaches? Do you crave a shady, wooded glen, with cool breezes? Maybe your city has a botanical garden or arboretum you could visit. In the Los Angeles area, we have the Huntington Gardens in San Marino, and The Arboretum in Arcadia.
Today a friend and I wanted to for on a hike on a mountain trail, but realized it has just been too hot and it would be more work than pleasure. We opted for the Huntington Gardens, knowing we would find shade there. Our walk took us through some hot and sunny areas, in between shady and even breezy and cool areas. In fact, we were able to spend most of the time feeling pretty cool and refreshed. We walked among eucalyptus trees in the Australian section, and tall bamboo trees in the Bamboo forest. We also went through a Tropical Jungle area. We saw a large tree that stores water in it's trunk for droughts. Now that was a refreshing and cooling thought on a hot summer day.
While in the Japanese Garden, we saw people tying colorful streamers to bamboo trees. We learned that it was for an annual July 7 celebration. Today was even luckier than the usual July 7, because it happens to 7-7-07. We were told that the annual celebration at the Huntington is coordinated by a preschool that is connected with a Japanese cultural center. The children learn some of the Japanese traditions, and learn to speak Japanese. They were to give a singing performance later in the day, in their native costumes.
The luck was based on an ancient legend related to three constellations of stars. My simple summary of the story is that a lady who did beautiful weavings, and a young man who was a cowherd, were very much in love with one another. Their parents finally consented to their marriage. Because they were so in love, they spent too much time together, and neglected their work of weaving and cowherding. Their punishment was that they were to be separated. Out of compassion, however, they are allowed to see each other once a year, on July 7. On and around July 7 each year, you can see a triangle of stars in the sky, where the three constellations meet. Two of them are the lovers, who happily reunite for one day. That day is lucky for them, and celebrations are held in their honor. The luck is shared with everyone that day.
We joined the celebration by each writing a wish on a strip of paper, and tying it to one of the bamboo trees. My wish is for Prosperity through Right Livelihood. I extend this wish to all my fellow therapists, who strive to help make the world a happier place, by helping to heal hearts and minds, one person at a time. I extend this wish also to all people, who strive to make a living through ethical means, causing no harm to others. A special wish is in order for Brenda, who celebrated her birthday today. May we all prosper and continue to make a difference!
Our next stop was Brenart Cafe Gallery in Pasadena, to see the art exhibit of Keiko Nakagawa. Keiko is a fellow student in our Tai chi class. Her work is being shown this month at Brenart Cafe Gallery. The Brenart is a charming little cafe, where you can have a cold drink or something to eat, and enjoy the art display. Did I mention that it was pleasantly air conditioned too? Keiko's art was so very peaceful to look at. She does landscapes in oil and pastels. The names of the works themselves were a pleasure to read, and very peaceful to contemplate. A few examples are: A Peaceful Walk; A Lovely Day; Yellow Tree in the Sun; Peace; Harmony; Starfish Eating the Ocean; A Meeting of Trees; The Arboretum; An Italian Hillside. My apologies to Keiko for any mistakes on the accuracy of my memory of the titles. Why not go to Brenart Cafe Gallery and see them for yourself, if you are in the area? In addition to the actual paintings dispayed on the walls, they have a continuous slide show going on, where you can see the enlarged images. You can also visit her website at www.keikonakagawa.com.
Well, that was my day of peace, luck and shade on a hot summer day. It was peaceful to spend time with a good friend in nature, and to enjoy Keiko's paintings. It was lucky that we happenned upon the July 7 celebration, and to be reminded that today is a lucky day. And it was lucky and peaceful to spend so much time in the cool, breezy shade.
How about you? Are there places in your area where you can have peaceful interludes? For a day, or even an hour? Sometimes we forget to make the effort, or we think it is too hot to go out. Or we can get caught up in worries and stress and forget about simple ways to nurture ourselves. Why not make a list, right now, of places you can go to cool off and nurture yourself?
Peace,
Kate
Today a friend and I wanted to for on a hike on a mountain trail, but realized it has just been too hot and it would be more work than pleasure. We opted for the Huntington Gardens, knowing we would find shade there. Our walk took us through some hot and sunny areas, in between shady and even breezy and cool areas. In fact, we were able to spend most of the time feeling pretty cool and refreshed. We walked among eucalyptus trees in the Australian section, and tall bamboo trees in the Bamboo forest. We also went through a Tropical Jungle area. We saw a large tree that stores water in it's trunk for droughts. Now that was a refreshing and cooling thought on a hot summer day.
While in the Japanese Garden, we saw people tying colorful streamers to bamboo trees. We learned that it was for an annual July 7 celebration. Today was even luckier than the usual July 7, because it happens to 7-7-07. We were told that the annual celebration at the Huntington is coordinated by a preschool that is connected with a Japanese cultural center. The children learn some of the Japanese traditions, and learn to speak Japanese. They were to give a singing performance later in the day, in their native costumes.
The luck was based on an ancient legend related to three constellations of stars. My simple summary of the story is that a lady who did beautiful weavings, and a young man who was a cowherd, were very much in love with one another. Their parents finally consented to their marriage. Because they were so in love, they spent too much time together, and neglected their work of weaving and cowherding. Their punishment was that they were to be separated. Out of compassion, however, they are allowed to see each other once a year, on July 7. On and around July 7 each year, you can see a triangle of stars in the sky, where the three constellations meet. Two of them are the lovers, who happily reunite for one day. That day is lucky for them, and celebrations are held in their honor. The luck is shared with everyone that day.
We joined the celebration by each writing a wish on a strip of paper, and tying it to one of the bamboo trees. My wish is for Prosperity through Right Livelihood. I extend this wish to all my fellow therapists, who strive to help make the world a happier place, by helping to heal hearts and minds, one person at a time. I extend this wish also to all people, who strive to make a living through ethical means, causing no harm to others. A special wish is in order for Brenda, who celebrated her birthday today. May we all prosper and continue to make a difference!
Our next stop was Brenart Cafe Gallery in Pasadena, to see the art exhibit of Keiko Nakagawa. Keiko is a fellow student in our Tai chi class. Her work is being shown this month at Brenart Cafe Gallery. The Brenart is a charming little cafe, where you can have a cold drink or something to eat, and enjoy the art display. Did I mention that it was pleasantly air conditioned too? Keiko's art was so very peaceful to look at. She does landscapes in oil and pastels. The names of the works themselves were a pleasure to read, and very peaceful to contemplate. A few examples are: A Peaceful Walk; A Lovely Day; Yellow Tree in the Sun; Peace; Harmony; Starfish Eating the Ocean; A Meeting of Trees; The Arboretum; An Italian Hillside. My apologies to Keiko for any mistakes on the accuracy of my memory of the titles. Why not go to Brenart Cafe Gallery and see them for yourself, if you are in the area? In addition to the actual paintings dispayed on the walls, they have a continuous slide show going on, where you can see the enlarged images. You can also visit her website at www.keikonakagawa.com.
Well, that was my day of peace, luck and shade on a hot summer day. It was peaceful to spend time with a good friend in nature, and to enjoy Keiko's paintings. It was lucky that we happenned upon the July 7 celebration, and to be reminded that today is a lucky day. And it was lucky and peaceful to spend so much time in the cool, breezy shade.
How about you? Are there places in your area where you can have peaceful interludes? For a day, or even an hour? Sometimes we forget to make the effort, or we think it is too hot to go out. Or we can get caught up in worries and stress and forget about simple ways to nurture ourselves. Why not make a list, right now, of places you can go to cool off and nurture yourself?
Peace,
Kate
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Peaceful Walking
Have you ever taken a walk as a way to reduce stress and feel relaxed? I do, every day. I am not talking about speed walking, or trying to get your pulse up to a specific rate for your cardiovascular health. I am talking about a walk to relax. If you are lucky enough to live near the ocean, or a nature trail, you have the perfect place to clear your head and enjoy the marvels of nature. If you don't, you can still enjoy walking and nature wherever you are. Do you live on a tree lined street? Is there a residential area nearby, that is quiet and tree lined? If you work in the city, and can only walk at lunch time, you will still see birds flying, or sitting in trees. You may see a dandelion or other herb growing out of a crack in the sidewalk. Perhaps there is even a park or a walking trail nearby. Okay, let's get started. Are you wearing comfortable shoes which you can keep good balance in? If you have a medical condition, has your health practitioner approved walking as a form of exercise? If so, let's go. Walk slowly at first. Notice your surroundings as you walk by them. Is there a pretty rosebush? What color are the roses? Can you smell one as you walk by? Here in Southern California, the jacarandas are in their full glory, spilling their beautiful light purple flowers on the green lawns under them. What type of trees and plants are in your area? What types of birds are flying around? Can you hear them? As you walk, you may find yourself absorbed in thoughts about a problem you are trying to solve, or a rehash of something that happened earlier today. When you discover that this has happened, just remind yourself gently to look around you again and notice the sights that you are walking past. If the stressful thoughts continue, you might try replacing them with a mantra or affirmation. That will be the subject of another blog entry. For now, just think of something pleasant you can repeat silently to yourself, such as "Life is good" or "I am happy and prosperous." And notice your surroundings as you do so. Sometimes it may be okay to continue thinking of a problem you need to solve. You can do it in a way that it becomes "background," something that gets worked on in a peaceful manner while you concentrate on something more pleasant. So, as you concentrate on the pleasure of your walk, let your thoughts and worries come and go. They may roll in and out like an ocean wave, or fly through like that airplane you see flying overhead. And while that is happening, you repeatedly remember to enjoy your pleasant walk. This is what is meant by "taking things in stride." Wishing you a peaceful day! Kate
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Introduction to Coping with Anxiety and Stress
Hi,
Welcome to my new blog. This is where I will be sharing some insights about dealing with change, managing stress, and handling life's difficulties. I have worked in the counseling profession for over twenty years, and am currently in private practice in Marina del Rey.
Coping with Anxiety and Stress can be difficult for many, in our stressful and changing lives. Becoming Stress Free is a process which can be practiced and gradually developed. The good news is that we can become more and more stress free, one moment at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. Each success gives us something to build on.
Do you have a burning question about how to deal with stress? Would you like to know more about how to cope when something happens that suddenly changes your life? Feel free to post your question, or topics you are interested in. I may not answer each question individually, but will try to write about related topics which may be helpful. Kate
Welcome to my new blog. This is where I will be sharing some insights about dealing with change, managing stress, and handling life's difficulties. I have worked in the counseling profession for over twenty years, and am currently in private practice in Marina del Rey.
Coping with Anxiety and Stress can be difficult for many, in our stressful and changing lives. Becoming Stress Free is a process which can be practiced and gradually developed. The good news is that we can become more and more stress free, one moment at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time. Each success gives us something to build on.
Do you have a burning question about how to deal with stress? Would you like to know more about how to cope when something happens that suddenly changes your life? Feel free to post your question, or topics you are interested in. I may not answer each question individually, but will try to write about related topics which may be helpful. Kate
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
