Out of the Ashes: Hope and Renewal (Turning Disaster into an Opportunity for Growth)

Just a few short weeks ago, in October, much of Southern California was up in flames. This disaster dominated the news, and understandably, people not living in this area had the idea it was all of Southern California.

There were quite a few areas not up in flames. I happen to live and work in one of those areas, which were not at high risk for fire. It was somewhat surrealistic, driving around in safe areas, hearing the car radio stories of widespread destruction. Even in the safe, unaffected areas, there was the smell of smoke, and the air quality felt like a high smog day. The air is what made the experience more real than surreal. It gave me reason to be grateful to not be in danger, and to feel bad for those who were.

My mind drifted to times in my life when I was close enough to other wildfires to see the flames in the distance. Then I found myself thinking of times in my life when something bad happened, only to eventually lead to something better.

One way to deal with stressful events is to develop a habit of looking at our misfortunes as openings toward new opportunities. A few years back, there was a fire in Altadena, which destroyed much of the Eaton Canyon Nature Center, one of my favorite hiking areas. When the canyon was reopened for hiking, myself and others expressed sadness at the destruction. One of the docents, who was leading the hike, said not to be sad about this, because there would be a large array of wildflowers blooming in the spring. He explained that the seeds to some plants cannot grow into anything, until a fire cracks them open. Well, anyway, this is my nonscientific rendition of how I remember the explanation.

How often do the seeds of our potential finally crack open and blossom, after what seems like a trial by fire? Sometimes we go through very trying times, with no sign of a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect, we may look back at these times, realizing that "oh, if that had not happened, I still would have been at.....(fill in the blanks here), and would not ever have ended up in .....(fill in these blanks too)."

Are you in a job or career which is more satisfying to you than one you started off in? Are you in a happy love relationship, which is a lot more satisfying than the one before ? Would you have found these situations, if your old job had not ended, or you old relationship not painfully ended?

In times of loss, it can feel very unkind for someone to say "when one door closes, another opens." At that time, what we really need and want is for people to express compassion and kindness toward us. But we can, in our own mind, remember other hurdles we have surmounted successfully. It is helpful to remember how we turned a loss into a gain. This can give us strength and hope, to turn a current loss into a gain.

I can give many examples from my own life, and the lives of clients I have worked with. Instead, I invite you, right now, to look back on your own life for examples. Write some of these down in a journal, and read it when you need sustenance.

Peace,
Kate