The Holiday Season is already upon us. It seems Halloween was just a week or two ago, and now it is almost Thanksgiving! Traditonally, right after the day of feasting with family of friends, the holiday shopping season is kicked off with the biggest shopping day of the year.
How is it that we go from a day of Thanksgiving to a month or so of frenzied shopping, entertaining, and over all busyness? Is there a way we can put the Thanks back into the season, starting with the traditonal day of Thanksgiving?
Having a feeling of gratitude is one of the best stress reducers there is. It can lead to a sense of peace and happiness. It can take us away from a sense of lack to a sense of having.
What if you are feeling resentful about disappointments, and can't think of anything to be grateful about? Start with the small things. Say, the way the sunlight filters in on a warm autumn day. Or the sound of a bird chirping. Or the fragrance of trees you walk under during a short walk. Little by little, you will notice more things to feel grateful for, and peace and gratitude will fill more of your day.
When you have an upcoming family or other social event to go to, it can feel stressful to remember some of the disappointments these events have led to in the past. You may even feel you can predict who will misbehave at the upcoming event, and how uncomfortable it will feel. Instead, you can simply expect and accept that things will not be perfect. Focus on some of the fun things that will be going on, and on some of the people you will feel genuinely happy to see. Feel grateful that you will be sharing time with them.
If you are hosting the get together, or if you will be bringing some food to share, it is all too easy to get caught up in the stress of planning, and overworking yourself to make things just right. Instead, try simplifying the meal and the tasks, and focus on anticipating a joyful time of sharing each other's company.
Gratitude is closely related to mindfulness. Mindfulness is an approach of being fully present in each moment. It is a peaceful feeling to focus on one thing at a time, rather than multitasking. By streamlining the amount of planning and work, you are free to fully enjoy the moment. You may spend an allotted amount of time baking, and really enjoy that you are just baking. You can be mindful of the aromas, the textures, the colors of the food you are preparing. You can be grateful for these moments of peaceful concentration.
Practice gratitude and mindfulness gradually during Thanksgiving. Make a committment to make this practice a part of your daily life, even just a little bit, through the holiday season. You will probably have a happier time, and may even take this new practice into the New Year with you.
Peace,
Kate
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Out of the Ashes: Hope and Renewal (Turning Disaster into an Opportunity for Growth)
Just a few short weeks ago, in October, much of Southern California was up in flames. This disaster dominated the news, and understandably, people not living in this area had the idea it was all of Southern California.
There were quite a few areas not up in flames. I happen to live and work in one of those areas, which were not at high risk for fire. It was somewhat surrealistic, driving around in safe areas, hearing the car radio stories of widespread destruction. Even in the safe, unaffected areas, there was the smell of smoke, and the air quality felt like a high smog day. The air is what made the experience more real than surreal. It gave me reason to be grateful to not be in danger, and to feel bad for those who were.
My mind drifted to times in my life when I was close enough to other wildfires to see the flames in the distance. Then I found myself thinking of times in my life when something bad happened, only to eventually lead to something better.
One way to deal with stressful events is to develop a habit of looking at our misfortunes as openings toward new opportunities. A few years back, there was a fire in Altadena, which destroyed much of the Eaton Canyon Nature Center, one of my favorite hiking areas. When the canyon was reopened for hiking, myself and others expressed sadness at the destruction. One of the docents, who was leading the hike, said not to be sad about this, because there would be a large array of wildflowers blooming in the spring. He explained that the seeds to some plants cannot grow into anything, until a fire cracks them open. Well, anyway, this is my nonscientific rendition of how I remember the explanation.
How often do the seeds of our potential finally crack open and blossom, after what seems like a trial by fire? Sometimes we go through very trying times, with no sign of a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect, we may look back at these times, realizing that "oh, if that had not happened, I still would have been at.....(fill in the blanks here), and would not ever have ended up in .....(fill in these blanks too)."
Are you in a job or career which is more satisfying to you than one you started off in? Are you in a happy love relationship, which is a lot more satisfying than the one before ? Would you have found these situations, if your old job had not ended, or you old relationship not painfully ended?
In times of loss, it can feel very unkind for someone to say "when one door closes, another opens." At that time, what we really need and want is for people to express compassion and kindness toward us. But we can, in our own mind, remember other hurdles we have surmounted successfully. It is helpful to remember how we turned a loss into a gain. This can give us strength and hope, to turn a current loss into a gain.
I can give many examples from my own life, and the lives of clients I have worked with. Instead, I invite you, right now, to look back on your own life for examples. Write some of these down in a journal, and read it when you need sustenance.
Peace,
Kate
There were quite a few areas not up in flames. I happen to live and work in one of those areas, which were not at high risk for fire. It was somewhat surrealistic, driving around in safe areas, hearing the car radio stories of widespread destruction. Even in the safe, unaffected areas, there was the smell of smoke, and the air quality felt like a high smog day. The air is what made the experience more real than surreal. It gave me reason to be grateful to not be in danger, and to feel bad for those who were.
My mind drifted to times in my life when I was close enough to other wildfires to see the flames in the distance. Then I found myself thinking of times in my life when something bad happened, only to eventually lead to something better.
One way to deal with stressful events is to develop a habit of looking at our misfortunes as openings toward new opportunities. A few years back, there was a fire in Altadena, which destroyed much of the Eaton Canyon Nature Center, one of my favorite hiking areas. When the canyon was reopened for hiking, myself and others expressed sadness at the destruction. One of the docents, who was leading the hike, said not to be sad about this, because there would be a large array of wildflowers blooming in the spring. He explained that the seeds to some plants cannot grow into anything, until a fire cracks them open. Well, anyway, this is my nonscientific rendition of how I remember the explanation.
How often do the seeds of our potential finally crack open and blossom, after what seems like a trial by fire? Sometimes we go through very trying times, with no sign of a light at the end of the tunnel. In retrospect, we may look back at these times, realizing that "oh, if that had not happened, I still would have been at.....(fill in the blanks here), and would not ever have ended up in .....(fill in these blanks too)."
Are you in a job or career which is more satisfying to you than one you started off in? Are you in a happy love relationship, which is a lot more satisfying than the one before ? Would you have found these situations, if your old job had not ended, or you old relationship not painfully ended?
In times of loss, it can feel very unkind for someone to say "when one door closes, another opens." At that time, what we really need and want is for people to express compassion and kindness toward us. But we can, in our own mind, remember other hurdles we have surmounted successfully. It is helpful to remember how we turned a loss into a gain. This can give us strength and hope, to turn a current loss into a gain.
I can give many examples from my own life, and the lives of clients I have worked with. Instead, I invite you, right now, to look back on your own life for examples. Write some of these down in a journal, and read it when you need sustenance.
Peace,
Kate
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